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Tuesday, April 26, 2016

My Saddest Post Ever

This is my saddest post ever. 
It's taken me over a month to even start it.

My beloved husband, Mark, died very unexpectedly last month.
I've wondered should I say anything on my blog - it's so awful to love someone so deeply, and to just post a few words. That seems trivial.  And do a whole memorial wouldn't do him justice either.  
Well, I did say in my last post, I would probably have another excuse for not finishing Angela's quilt - and yeah this is it.  One of the first things I did was throw her quilt and the machine in the closet.  (NEVER had my machine been in closet.)  I spend so many happy, relaxed hours sewing while Mark sat by me or watched TV with me.  I just couldn't face that quilt.  (The fact that it's black doesn't help either.)

So do you want to hear about Mark?  What kind of man he was?
Mark and Serena 2015
I'll start by telling you this - some of you may not believe it but it's the truth.

I was getting ready for church when God told me that I was going to meet my husband.  NOPE - NO WAY - I told God I didn't want another one of those!
I even considered not going to church - but I did and met several new men.
(Ha Ha God very funny)

Well, that night at church I wanted to listen to the service and get the heck out of dodge.  But someone stopped me at the door - and that gave Mark just enough time to dish me up a plate of food. Well, there I was stuck.  Here's this nice guy with a plate of food - so I was polite, ate and ran. 

But he did get my number, we talked, dated and married. (you sort of knew that part didn't you?)

Mark always was the best husband.  We had a little unspoken game called "see who could be the kindest, sweetest, more caring to each other".  He was so good at it - I could barely keep up with him.
We told each other every day how much we loved each other and how thankful we were to God for each other. 

I like that Mark was such a hard worker.  He always had to have a goal - usually something materialist to work for.  A Harley Motorcycle, our pool, the house.  Didn't really matter what - just something.
You know, I went through his things and one of the things I found was a certificate for a 6-week bible study class we attended. It was something he had worked for, something he had earned; He was proud of that. 
I am so thankful I married a Christian man.  

I remember one lunch (we had lunch together almost EVERY SINGLE DAY OF of our 22 years of marriage.) we met a young woman and she had problems.  He explained what turning his life over to God had done for him, and suggested she do the same.  This sort of thing often happened.  He wasn't shy about his faith, yet didn't push it on people. I admired that about him. 

  He truly was such a good honest man. 
He would say it was so that God could bless us.  You know, I think he's right.  
He wouldn't cheat at anything - (expect board games! Which made us all mad or made us laugh.)
I remember when Mark bought the Harley - paid cash - saved it up, working hard.  And I was so worried!  What kind of man had I married?  Would he be a stereotypical biker? No - He had such a gentle soul.  And we had so many wonderful rides and good times on that bike. 

Mark is really the love of my life.  We hung out together all the time.  We swam in the pool and walked the dogs.  We camped and went to Vegas.  We cooked dinner together, raised our daughters, enjoyed our grandchildren.  Went to the grocery store together - I went on his job estimates, and set up jobs with him on the weekends.  We just loved being together.  
There will never be another Mark - there will never be someone who loves me unconditionally like he did.  

 He was in so much pain, he could barely enjoy life.  I'm thankful to God that he took him in such a kind way - he died in his sleep - it was his heart.  
So while I happy that he is no longer in pain, life has not been the same without him.

Linda


14 comments:

  1. And he had the best hair!!!! Linda, I can only imagine how hard it was to write this post. Its a lovely tribute. Going on day to day must be very difficult without him. But you need to get that sewing machine out girl, and keep yourself busy. Perhaps a brand new project, with no memories? How is Miss Marzipan doing?

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  2. I have no words to express how sorry I am. You have my deepest sympathies.

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  3. Sweetheart. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for telling us about your amazing husband, I know it was not an easy thing for you to do. You were both lucky to have had each other, both of you wonderful people.

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  4. I am so very sorry. There are no words that I can find to express my sympathy. This is a lovely tribute to your dear husband. Take care of yourself

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  5. Hi Karen, oh dear this is so heartbreaking for you... Thank you for sharing this with your readers, I cannot imagine how you have found the words... but find them you have, & shared your memories of Mark in such a loving & unedited way. True love & real devotion is a gift in life, & the two of you had it. May those memories sustain you now & bring even a ray of sunshine in these difficult days. I echo Gretchen's words... this is indeed a loving tribute.
    Thank you again for sharing & you take care each day... one day at a time .
    Blessings & Hugs, xx

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  6. As I read your lovely tribute to your Mark, I feel such sadness for you, Linda. I cannot begin to imagine what loss you must be feeling, how devastated you must be. In the long and difficult days ahead may those beautiful memories you shared with your Mark somehow bring a smile to your heart. May they help you get through each day. May God bless you. Xx

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  7. Linda, I am sooo sorry!!!! I'm in tears for you right now. You wrote such a lovely tribute to Mark. What a treasure you two had in your relationship!!! I don't think many people can say they had such a wonderful marriage!! I'm so sorry that your best friend is gone. I wish I were there to give you a hug and just sit with you. You'll be in my prayers, and I know that you are under God's loving eyes especially right now. Big hugs and love to you my friend!! Helen

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  8. There are no words. What a really beautiful and loving tribute to your Mark. Take time to grieve and to heal and may all the wonderful memories of your love and life together bring you comfort. God Bless.

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  9. I am so sorry for your loss. Few find such a good man!

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  10. My heart is breaking for you. There are no words only prayers. Praying our Lord will hold you in his loving healing arms to give you the comfort and peace that only He is able to give. Thank you for sharing some of your wonderful memories and pictures with your blogging family. Mark was indeed a gift from God. Praying for healing for your heart.

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  11. My heart breaks for you, Linda. I cannot imagine such a loss.

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  12. Oh my dear - I have no words. What a devastating loss. I will keep you in prayer, hon. I am so very, very sorry.

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  13. My deepest sympathies to you, my dear...May the God of all comfort, keep you especially close.

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  14. Words cannot express my sadness for you.
    Sincerely... Cheryll

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